My comment – Valerie – you have truly bared your soul in sharing this epiphany in a powerfully written post. The first thought that comes to mind is “a picture is worth a thousand words”.
I too have worked in the medical industrial complex all my life, though not at your level, and more on the physical cardiology electrophysiology level rather than you in your mental health field. I think i have done a lot of good helping people, and hope you do not diss yourself too harshly thinking you have not made a difference at some time some place with someone. The mind is definitely more fragile than the body, so your job was hard for sure. The one time i truly felt i was working for the Antichrist was when i worked in the pharmacy, where meds were marked up 700%, which is more than diamonds are. It is good you were able to go home and put your frustrations into your art. When we worked in the ER we went home and drowned our memories in alcohol.
One final thought i have is to quote Keats – “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” – that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.”
i would like to reblog this to those who read my blog who are artists and artisans.
I woke up today with a immense sense of self-worth for the first time in awhile. I had an epiphany, and I realized that I finally bested my current Guardian at the Threshold.
Throughout my life, I have had endless guilt about my chosen path. I have had so many moments of shame when I think about the amount of suffering in the world, and despite my level of empathy and my level of education and overall privilege, I chose art over philanthropy. This guilt was part of what sent me running from art school when I was 18 and deciding to pursue a career in psychology. I worked in Social Services for most of my adult life providing direct care for adults and children with developmental disabilities. While doing this fulltime, I went back to school and took classes when I could with the hopes of becoming a Behavioral…
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