We are sorry to say but the End of the World has been rescheduled.
flying saucer that landed in back yard
As i took my last sip of absinthe at the stroke of midnight last new year’s eve a strange thing happened to me. A shining saucer shaped spaceship appeared overhead and out jumped two Mayan warriors and an Aztec princess who said “sorry we are late for the end of the world we predicted on 12/21/2012. We got stuck in a time warp and our stone faced watches got some sands of time in them.” They pointed to a spot on the ground in my back yard and told me to start digging. I uncovered a small crystal skull encased in a plexiglas pyramid in which was a small golden flash drive. I plugged it into my pc and it translated immediately and here is what it said:
The world will end on Friday the 13th September 2013.
crystal skull found underground
I quickly googled Triskaidekaphobia and Friday the 13th and found the historical significance of this date, and am now convinced. Oh and an image of Jesus appeared in my yogurt this morning so he said it is true too.
I know many of you were disappointed in the failed Mayan Prophecies and many went crazy on the www and made a lot of money off the whole story, especially the Mexican airlines and hotel owners. So don’t stow away your end of the world survival kit or fill in your underground bunker to make a swimming pool just yet.
I plan on starting this new urban myth and some new websites, and replications of the skull and pyramid in plexiglas (made in China of course) and maybe some coffee mugs. I guess i could also offer online courses and make some money that way. And the pyramid shaped aluminum foil protection helmets should sell like hotcakes on eBay.
I also plan on contacting the History Channel and Discovery Channel to film upcoming documentaries. Boy am i going to become rich and famous!
I just need to come up with a good name for myself that will engender both respect and fear. Maybe Magus Triskaideka, High Priest of the OFT (Order of Friday the 13th), or maybe the EOT (Esoteric Order of Triskaideka). If anyone wants to join my cult just remember there can only be 13 Inner Court members, myself included of course.
Anyway, those are my initial plans for 2013!
JUST KIDDING !!! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!