I have always been spiritual and religious. When I was a child I was a member of the United Methodist church, was president of the youth fellowship, taught in vacation Bible school, and even preached in church. I even thought about being a minister some day.
Then I went to college and read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse which suggested that following one’s inner Voice is good, not evil as I was taught, and that the inner self is the same as the Divine. Within 3 days Christianity sloughed off me like the worn out skin off a snake.
I dropped out of college and turned into a late era hippy and hitch hiked across the country visiting various ashrams, communes and national parks.
When I returned I joined a group studying and practice Japanese Zen Buddhism under a student of Roshi Phillip Kapleau. Over the decades I practiced meditation in a small Korean Buddhist monastery in NY as a monk, practiced yoga in the Kripalu ashram under Yogi Amrit Desai, studied Kabala and ceremonial magicke, joined the OTO and studied Crowley, got into “Wicca” and became a student of Lady Phoebe Athene Nimue of the Coven of the Catta where I eventually went on to become a third degree high priest, studied and practiced Tibetan Buddhism getting various empowerments of various lineages, practiced my own personal form of Native American shamanism, practiced Voudoun and Hoodoo, etc etc etc. I consider the teachings of Vajrayana to be my higher religious philosophical system, and Witchcraft to be my practical magicke in this world of Malkuth. It’s one big gumbo that works for me.
Needless to say I have addressed “God” (Goddess + God) under many names and forms. When I think of God/ess, there really is no form or face, just the Light and Dark of the big cosmic yin yang Spirit out there, of which I and everything else is a spark. I guess the best form I could put on it would be the cosmic Buddha Amitabha or Amida rayed in Light. But from a Gnostic viewpoint God/ess is far away, too sublime to speak about, too subtle to wrap the mind around and embrace in some ways.
That is why humans over their evolution have given faces and forms to God. I guess these forms could be called the gods and goddesses, feys and elementals and such. I just consider them to be good divine friends and deal with them in that form of relationship. So I am going to write about my own divine gods and goddesses, holy men and women who are the faces of God/ess to me.
Amida Buddha – He is a high deity to whom I take my energies up to through my crown when I meditate and do phowa, bathing in his light. He is also someone I would pray to since he is full of beneficence and blessings.
Avalokitesvara is of course the God/ess of compassion, always good to pray to with Om Mani Padme Hum.
Hevajra is my main yidam, i think because he is like a dancing Shiva and Buddha combined.
Buddha and Padmasambhava are great enlightened beings, but i feel closer to Nagarjuna, a man and tantricke lama who taught the Madhyamika or Middle Way teachings, which are the ones i seem most attracted to. And he received these teachings from the Nagas, so he is alright with me. Buddha would be good to walk with and sit along a stream and talk with, and even be silent with. But Nagarjuna is my wise teacher. And yet Yeshe Tsogyal would be more fun to be holed up in a Himalayan cave with playing hide the phurba!
Shiva – I love Shiva. I think he/she is the most friendly form of god/ess that i can imagine. He is a wild and crazy god, full of wisdom and power. Shiva is good to club and rave with, and to meditate with in a cave or graveyard. No matter what crazy thing you do, it can be dedicated to Shiva as an offering. To me he is the most primal honed gd, especially as Pashupati Lord Lakulsh. I was probably a Kapalika in a previous life.
Mahakala is my new moon god, and Rahula my eclipse god, and Vajrakilaya my lightening god. Rahula and Mahakala are good Yakuza friends.
Ganesha is just plain wonderful, very helpful opening the door and protecting. He helped me get my house, that big cuddly son of Shiva.
Nagas and Naginis are good friends, the fey of the beautiful yet dangerous waters. That’s why my Hindu name is Nagesh, Naga of Shiva.
Isis – She is the highest form of the Goddess and probably the earliest form of her from Egypt. In the Hellenistic world her form continues, even into Christianity as the Virgin Mary. Isis is the primal form of the hidden Wisdom, and no one looks upon the face of Isis and lives.
Anubis is a good friend, and i am initiated into his priesthood by an Egyptian lady who lives in the states. “Though i walk through the shadow of death…” I think i was a priest of his cult in a previous life also, but who knows.
Adonai is my Holy Guardian Angel. What more can i say? Metatron is a great angel for traveling through the upper spheres. Solomon i speak of below. One time i did an HGA working using some of AC’s rituals and instead of Adonia the Archangel Samael showed up instead, intense, but he is now a useful contact for sure.
Michael and the other archangels are very good and powerful allies. Michael with a glock would be perfect when Charles Manson comes to the door. The Nephilim and other aliens have paid me more than one visit, and i won’t speak their names.
Hrumachis, the double wanded one of the two horizons, is my Thelemic god.
Baphomet is a hermaphroditic god of the Templars, very powerful, the Legba of the abyss under Malkuth.
Solomon is all wise, and supposedly the source of many books of wisdom and magicke. He represents the Sun in three languages – Sol in Latin, Om in Sanskrit and On in Egyptian.
Jesus is more approachable as portrayed in the Gospels (ignore everything from Paul onwards). Jesus, like Buddha, is a friend with whom i would like to take a nice quiet contemplative walk.
But Mary is the one on whose lap i would lay and have her rub my head and pet my hair when i am sick, near death, crazed or suicidal. She is the western Goddess of Compassion. Mary has come to me in the form of Our Lady of Lourdes (her feast day being my birthday) and Our Lady of Medjugorje. The former has a beautiful outside shrine just over the southern border of my state, and the latter has made herself known there and across the northern border, a weird synchronicity. I refer of course to Mary as a symbol, not as a Catholic deity.
My coven’s god is Pan-Faunus, but to be candid, i do not vibe much to their energies, except when i am horny. Then i am filled with Pan. I am more attracted towards Kernunnos who is more like a European Shiva to me, a shaman. Our goddess is Diana-Astarte. I have zero feelings about most Greek or Roman gods, except maybe Hermes-Mercury and Diana. Astarte is an old Middle Eastern goddess who is very powerful. I work with her power. Faunus and Diana would be great to get wild and wooly in the woods with for sure! When i see the sun i think Solomon. When i see the moon i think Diana. When i touch a tree i think Merlin. When i touch the earth i think Hertha, and her dark sister Hekate. And of course Bastet is the totem of our coven, gotta mention her with my two black cats.
Babaluaye – When I went to New Orleans decades ago i bought a tall wooden statue of Lazaro in a market and brought him home on the plane, stowing him under the seat in front of me, which was occupied by a Catholic priest. With Baba came all the Lwa followed him to my house. He is my Legba.
Damballah, Erzulue, La Sirene and Santa Martha La Dominadora are all at home in my temple and honoured well.
Ghede is a good friend to carry a bottle of wine and a side arm with while walking through the old graveyards in the ghetto.
Exu and Pomba Gira have a special place. I met them in the old city cemetery. They like offerings of crossed cigars and absinthe. Better the devil you know than the devil you do not know.
Lots of Indian spirits show up on my property here at the base of a mountain along a stream. I have had one ancestor show himself as a deer headed shaman when i was visiting a standing stone called Chief’s Stone where the last Indians in this area were wiped out by fever. He gave me his name, but i keep that to myself, and work with him still.
Well that’s most of the gods, who are friends, that i care to talk about. We are one big family here in my head and in my house. Well, gotta run, someone is hungry in the temple. Hey who needs children when one has this many gods?
Tu was du willst soll sein das Ganze des Gesetzes sein.
Honi soit qui mal y pense.